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One emotion that is constant throughout our lives is fear. It matures along with the circumstances and various influences that fall upon us but like a shadow fear is never far behind yet always out of reach. As youngsters we feared what we could not see such as the boogie man whom we were convinced lurked in the dark. Our view of fear shifts with age. As adults we fear more what we see, and at times what we believe we see. Our first impulse is to turn away from discomfort following the notion that if it is not seen then there is nothing to be feared. There is a definite discomfort when people close to you, particularly a loved one is failing due to illness or some other despair. An anxious gnawing prays on your imagination of “what if's,” not unlike a child paralyzed by darkness.
When illness finds it way to your home, to your heart, the face of fear unveils itself in your mirror; “how can this be”? Haunted by a steam of unanswered questions you travel through the health care system navigating its unexpected crevasses. “What will this test discover?” You fret over unforeseen possibilities again and again. The desire to call out for comfort, for light, for answers ,remains trapped within like the voiceless child who shivers under the blankets in the dark. Just a little light, how ever faint, to keep the monsters at bay.
Fear is the acquaintance that you'd rather not knock at your door, but there it is, you can hear it as clearly as the sounding of a church bell. Your hand quivers and with as much muster as you can gather you move forward to open the door. Courage starts with the smallest of steps. Somewhere in the slow methodical flow of your movement the hand of another reaches out to you; you're not alone. Care starts with the smallest of gestures. You discover within the eyes of others a ray of hope and its brilliance is like a flashlight guiding you through a storm.